If I Had to See This So Do You
What Defines a Decade of Success and a Week 12 NFL Preview + Jambaroo!
I regret to inform you that I am going to try and bum you out here…think of this as a challenge of sorts. I mean if that doesn’t make you want to read on, certainly I don’t know what will!
Writing this in November, I have yet to even begin to take an inventory of what I accomplished…or didn’t accomplish over the last 10 years.
Off the top of my head, I made it through college in 4 years. I’ve managed to get people to pay me to do some creative work within the scope of my degree that doesn’t make me want to kick the chair. I raised a puppy, he’s still very happy and healthy and most importantly, alive. I moved in with a girl!
But honestly, are these really even accomplishments? Is this just more of a function of what we’re supposed to do? Is merely just making it without your life being a disaster an accomplishment in itself? Where’s the bar here folks?
My next thought is what really is even a good criteria to mark and determine your “accomplishments.” The examples I’ve seen so far from others don’t even fully register as human, but more as resume bullet points - LinkedIn-ified shit.
Obviously, this all depends on what you value - sure - but lemme take a stab at defining categories for personal accomplishments.
I came up with 5:
Personal growth - Hopefully you’ve taken away some lessons from the times you’ve gotten shit kicked in your face. Hey here’s a good one…*clears throat* ‘You can’t spell Lesson if you don’t take an ‘L.’ Feel free to borrow that one, I won’t be using it again!
Mental health - Are you in a good place mentally? Do you know how to get out of being in a bad place once in one? Do you have the fortitude to recognize and stop doing bad shit that harms you?
Career - Are things growing? Are they stagnant? Are you happy where you are? If you answered no to all of the above, take a step back from the thought of what a traditional career is and just secure the bag.
Creative endeavors - Do you write? Paint? Draw? Sing? Play an instrument? Do you take time to work on any of these things or do you just come home from happy hour and fire up Netflix until you can fall asleep? Really no wrong answers here!
Family and Friends - Have you managed not to alienate or piss off close family members and friends? Hopefully! Be good to these people, they are all you have.
So those are my five! I would love to hear some of yours, tweet me, comment here or email me (krich2500@gmail.com).
I hope this brings some meaning to a completely meaningless exercise.
NFL Week 12 Jambaroo
I still miss Deadspin. One of my favorite weekly pieces I would look forward to reading each week was Drew Magary’s football Jambaroo column where games would be ranked by how good the matchup was with some football and non-football related thoughts sprinkled in. If you want to see some past ones in all their glory, check em out.
The Games
All games in the Jamboroo are evaluated for sheer watch-ability on a scale of 1 to 5
5/5
Packers-49ers - I hate (yet love) some of the cliches in football. For a game that doesn’t really seem to change, but more is just a reflection of trends, we still get all the same football-isms that reminds us that the game stays the same. For this one, we have “when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object” which translates to a good offense (Packers) vs a good defense (49ers). Also will be on “Is Jimmy G actually good?” watch for when the 9ers offense takes the field.
Ravens-Rams - I still feel bad for doubting Lamar. Mostly I would just feel wrong but Lamar seems like a cool ass dude in addition to being one of the most electric players on the field this season and I truly felt that the Ravens should have stuck with Flacco. Anyways, sorry again Lamar and I look forward watching you scramble outside the pocket and see you move the sticks against a really strong Rams secondary.
4/5
Cowboys -Patriots - Although I live in Texas and probably will be watching this with Cowboys fans, it’s always great to see them lose. The only team the rest of the country likes watching lose more is the Patriots! Its like uh, when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, right?!
3/5
Panthers-Saints - The latest “football is family” esque commercial running now is from some hardware company. You know, the ones that exist in a completely pretend world when your neighbor is a Falcons fan, his wife is a Vikings fan, your wife is a Raiders fan and you go for the Chiefs and you all are merrily hanging in your different jerseys screaming about a game in excitement that has no actual impact on your team. For whatever reason, there is always a Panthers jersey sprinkled in. THE PANTHERS MUST BE REPRESENTED!
Seahawks-Eagles - I was really looking forward to this one before the entire Eagles offense lost their limbs and are out for this one. With Alshon Jeffery and Nelson Agholor out who are Eagles fans going to scapegoat today? ALSO, speaking of Agholor, we have an official SUSPECTED BURNER ACCOUNT ALERT!
2/5
Buccaneers-Falcons - One thing I will gladly “back in my day about” is the price of chicken wings. Whether its a dive bar, pizza spot or national wing emporium, you cannot pay under a dollar for a single wing anymore (unless it’s boneless, fuck that). When was the last time you saw a 25 cent wing night anymore? Am I just looking for wings in all the wrong places?!
Giants-Bears - Two loser teams take the field and the only bigger loser here are the ones who paid to go to the game and who take the time to watch all three hours of this on TV. Couldn’t be me!
Raiders-Jets - Have you seen the “eating shredded cheese from the bag at 3 am” memes? I can’t relate to that but what I CAN relate to is eating Peanut Butter out of the jar with a spoon at 3 am. I currently have peanut butter in the house and the other night I sprang awake in the middle of the night, knowing I had a jar and proceeded to get up to grab a spoonful before crawling back to bed like nothing even happened.
1/5
Steelers-Bengals - Thinking about Kaepernick since he is in the news again and I honestly think the #1 MAGA fanbase who would take off work to go protest in the parking lot is definitely the fucking Steelers. The only way I would watch a second of this game is of course whatever they show on Redzone and if they could guarantee Mason Rudolph could get bonked over the head again with his own helmet.
Dolphins-Browns - It’s officially 6 minutes away from kickoff now, I really don’t have to keep doing this.
Lions-Redskins
Broncos-Bills
Jaguars-Titans
Enjoy the games everyone!